“The people who believe in me could not help me. The people who could help me did not believe in me”.
I extracted the above from a touching story I read and it got me thinking how essential it is to define our relationships. Defining your relationships affords you the leverage to give value and to extract value in return from every relationship.
Who you are determines the company you keep per time. There are many sides to every relationship but many times we get it mixed up and complain of unmet expectations. An acquaintance is not necessarily your friend, it takes wisdom to discern.
Friendship is deep, deeper than the ordinary meaning we adduce to it quite often. Someone could share a space with you every day but still does not qualify as your friend. If you are not mindful of that fact, you may be setting yourself up for dashed expectation.
Forge relationships with clarity. It shapes your expectations and guarantees your inner peace. Your professional colleague can offer you a lifeline that your friend may not have the capacity to do but that does not make him a substitute for your friend.
Your sibling may be unwilling to do for you what your friend would gladly do. That does not replace the love of your sibling. Different phases in life demands the different companies you keep. It does not make one company more important than the other.
Undefined relationship breeds exaggerated expectations. True friendship is not defined by class or status.
©️ Akin Oluwadare Jnr
25 May 2026
