The mind of a child is like a Tabula Rasa, pure and blank. What is a Tabula Rasa? It is a Latin phrase that literally translates to a clean slate. It depicts that the mind of man is originally blank until his thoughts begin to shape his ideas and beliefs to form his personality traits.
A Tabula Rasa has the capacity to magnify a tiny dot to a big object. Be mindful of what you sow in the mind of a child or anyone who looks up to you for guidance and direction. If you sow fear, it grows so big that it suffocates good judgement and promotes lies and eye service.
I did not have the luck of a pleasant immediate boss on my first job in the corporate world. My boss was not only brash and unapproachable, he was unapologetically unkind and snobbish. He treated men (and women) like objects and he instilled fear in the minds of those he was meant to lead.
I recall an experience involving my colleague and I, with whom I shared the same apartment at the time and we both reported to this same boss. The day started with a heavy rain in our side of the city. The rain was so heavy we couldn’t even step out of the house for five seconds and not get drenched, and we were not mobile.
We took our time for the rain to subside before we found our way to the bus stop. We were already late to work by over two hours, not due to a fault of ours (or so we thought). What we didn’t know was that the rain was localised to our side of town. Halfway to the office, we found out that everywhere was dry with no single drop of rain.
Knowing the kind of boss we had, we knew there was no way he would believe our story and the consequence on us would be severe. What we resorted to was to concoct a lie that sounded good. We decided that I should detour to the hospital, feigning I took ill that morning and my colleague had to take me to the hospital before coming to work.
I registered my attendance at the hospital and collected prescriptions I didn’t need. I went back home from there to perfect our script and reported for duty the following day. It was the best we could do to satisfy the ego of our ‘almighty’ boss. He taught us to lie because he confused leading with iron fist. In place of compassion he chose indifference.
The experience taught me a strong lesson at the early stage of my career. As I approached the managerial cadre, I began to imagine the kind of lies my direct reports would be telling me if I choose to be indifferent to their personal struggles. Listening makes a good leader. Active listening makes a great leader.
Am I suggesting that a leader should listen to all kinds of stories from their direct reports? McGregor provided a leeway when he propounded his management theory of motivation called McGregor’s Theory X and Y. Theory X assumes that the worker needs a hands-on approach to do the right thing. Theory Y assumes that the worker is self-motivated and would do what he has to do without being prompted.
Neither of the two approaches works in isolation. A little to the right and a little to the left strikes a balance. The same applies to a child who grows under your influence. You may force obedience without entertaining questions and think you are in charge but the end product is dual identity. What you give is what you get.
©️ Akin Oluwadare Jnr.
26 October 2026
