As a conscious adult, the first time I experienced a deep sense of loss of a close relative was when my brother, the late Chief Akin Oluwadare, lost his first wife, Aunty Lola. It was just a few days to my graduation ceremony in the university. My brother was not supposed to attend my graduation ceremony but he did.
I know he loved me but I did not even realise how much of a part of me he was until I lost him. We take love for granted. Sometimes we even take life for granted as if we are in control. If you see me smile, it’s not because I am strong. If you see me cry, it’s not because I am weak. I just want to be human.
So, who is Akin Oluwadare? Twice I have written about the man, Akin Oluwadare, in a public space. First was when he turned 55 in 2017, the tribute was published in my first book. The second was on his 60th birthday in 2022. I gave him his well deserved flower when he could still smell it. What is left now is memories of him.
I have read many accounts of his life and times and I cannot be prouder that I had a brother who lived not only for himself and his family, but also for humanity. I have said so much about who he was to me and what he means to me, even in death. The glowing tributes from far and wide attest to his greatness.
Was my brother a perfect human being? No, none of us is. Just like you and I, my brother was a mortal, he had his flaws just like me and you. I read every line of all the eulogies that have attended his passage. Very few, just about two or three, touched briefly on his weakness. Two from his friends and one from a relative.
Not a few times have I heard his friends say to me while he was alive that my brother has a way of dominating conversation. He does it with so much energy, you will mistake it for pride. The word commonly used is “domineering”. Most people don’t know what I know about him. He nurtured me. I am a version of his product.
The man, Akintayo Oluwadare, grew up under unusual circumstances that toughened him. Life threw him lime and he made a lemonade out of it. He became a man before he was truly a man. He was the compass in our family, through whom we navigated tough terrains. He was so convicted of his belief that he could not fail. He was intentional about what he wanted.
As a young boy, my brother made tough, bold and brave decisions that a man should make which turned out to be right. As he grew up, he probably forgot that sometimes he could be wrong. That was the part of him he could not overcome. If you are not close to him you would mistake it for pride.
Beneath the tough skin my brother displayed was a soft-hearted and vulnerable fellow, soaked in love and compassion, always wanting to help. His unfulfilled wish was to recuperate fully from his illness to continue to help people like he has always done. His fond memories will continue to inspire generations.
In few days, the remains of the iconic Akin Oluwadare will be laid to rest. All the activities marking his final exit will be live-streamed. He was the owner of the name “Akin Oluwadare” but he bequeathed it to me as a legacy. To me, that name is a treasure. I will guard it jealously.
©️Akin Oluwadare Jnr
07 July 2025
