FROM ME TO YOU

Have you ever told your friend you are on your way when, truly, you are yet to set out? If you have ever done so, you are not alone. It is an indication that you are well aware that people don’t like to wait, especially when the reason for your delay was unintended. Indeed, waiting is tough. I recall an occasion when I was billed to attend a social gathering with my old classmates. I reminisced the old times and I looked forward to the fun. I was ready ahead of time but had to wait for another classmate whom we were to attend together. For reasons not entirely due to my friend’s fault, minutes turned to hours, with repeated assurances from my friend that he was just a moment away. After a long time of waiting, the excitement I looked forward to waned and I almost lost the interest to go for the get together. Eventually my friend came and we journeyed to the event. Hard as I tried to enjoy every moment of fun the gathering offered, it was hard for me to forget the anxiety and disappointment that enveloped me while my wait lasted. My friend tried to make a joke of my mood but I doubt if he knew that he spoilt the fun for me, for all it was worth. This was a social event and the wait lasted only for few hours. A gathering of old schoolmates is of value but have you thought of waiting for things of greater value for an undeterminable waiting time? If you have not waited for things of greater value before, please tarry before you make any comment about anyone who has had to wait.

Every man likes affirmation. No man enjoys criticism but again, any man whose views go unchallenged all the time should watch his back. It is not an evidence of bravery, neither does it pass for unmatched wisdom for you to have opinion that is always right. If you get keep getting a yes to all you say, chances are that you have been isolated to your delusion that you know it all. A fool is better than a wise man who takes pride in being right all the time. A critic is not supposed to be an enemy, depending on his motive for criticising. It is not enough to have the right motive, your motive for criticising must be clearly stated. A critic becomes an enemy if his motive deducts value rather than add value to the subject. If I mean well for you, it is unlikely I get you to see reason with me if I have to debase your dignity to pass my message.

It is a season of wishes. For the grace to be alive to witness this brand new year, here is wishing you a prosperous 2023 filled with pleasant surprises. Wishes become dreams when taken beyond mere talk. Dreams broken down to achievable goals inspire positive energy towards realisation. Someone said goals are dreams with deadlines and I said it’s true. I have seen career goals. I have heard about corporate goals. I have read about spiritual goals. I have learnt about investment goals. I have written about educational goals but I have not heard so much about health goals. Hello 2023, if you indulge me, I would wish to put you on a three way call with my reader, just to find out if health goal is on the long list of his/her new year resolutions. Health goal is probably unpopular because it depends more on lifestyle than money. The things that help to preserve good health are not expensive. No wonder good health is always taken for granted. Take a moment to reflect on that.

The year 2022 winds down in a bit. Coming this far may be taken for granted but not all who wished, came this far. For you and I who are still able to read and write, there is a lot to be thankful for. To the Author of life and Creator of the Universe, Who did not only give life but gave it in abundance, Lord, I have come to say thank you. It is that time of the year to appreciate those who made life count. You are one of them and I have come to say thank you. There will not be a writer without readers. To you who read my posts and encourage me with public acknowledgement, I have come to say thank you. To many more who silently follow me and chip in words of encouragement either publicly or privately once in a while, I have come to say thank you. To all who challenge my thought process and critique my quotes to make me a deeper thinker, I have come to say thank you. To all who disagree with my views and open me up to divergent views on subjects of critical importance, I have come to say thank you, with utmost respect.

Many things announce Yuletide, a season of joy. Europe or America, Middle East or Asia, there is a peculiar feeling that announces the season. In Africa where I belong, there is no other feeling like Christmas. When the weather is hazy, then you know Christmas is coming. The songs that rent the air are not the usuals for all seasons. When activities peak and showing of love becomes the norm, then you know that Christmas is near. Old and young, the feeling is just the same. Christmas is not race sensitive, I hope you know. Religion accords Christmas its dues, irrespective of faith. Social or economic class defer to Christmas. Why can’t every day even be like Christmas? The season is here and I am just excited. Many reasons to be grateful to the Author of life. If you are the discerning type you will know that every cycle completed is just by His grace. This joy is mine but I’m glad to share.

You may think it is one of those things but I can tell you that an average human being feels more accepted wherever he can communicate effectively. Communication is two way, it involves not only hearing, but being heard. I used to attend a particular church when I arrived Lagos after my service year. The church had a considerable balance of the major ethnic nationalities, at least in the southern part of the country. I really can’t tell if it was by coincidence but it happened that the choir was predominantly populated by a particular ethnic nationality, even though the presiding pastor is of another ethnic nationality. Gradually but consistently, praise and worship sessions became so skewed to a particular native tongue that the rest of us who don’t speak the language were left to enjoy only the rhythm of the melodious music coming from the choir, even when we didn’t understand the message.

Civilisation comes with lots of advantages. Modernisation offers more ingenious ways to aid human interaction. Technology provides tools for ease of doing business but there has not been an alternative to the human factor. It is unlikely there will ever be. Social security should be taught and learnt as early as when a child begins to learn ABC. In advanced climes, an individual is given a social security number that captures all information about him to the tiniest detail. This underscores the importance of social security. In recent times, a cursory look at reported cases of suicide clearly reveals that economic problem is not the biggest problem humans are dealing with. This should redirect our thought on the need to revisit our social interactions. Money plays a big role in human existence. This explains why man unconsciously prioritise economic security, but to think that financial security can make up for laxity in social security is to reduce life to figures. Life is too complex to be solved by a mathematical equation.

Imagine a woman just diagnosed with breast cancer. If it’s within her ability, she would wish that this is not disclosed to her, but it is a conversation she must have. Or imagine a man who just lost his job. He would wish the news is about something pleasantly different but the job loss is the reality that must be talked about. It is natural for us as humans to wish for news that are positive. Our mind is wired to seek for positivity around the things we desire. Many times we do this even at our own expense when we avoid news that do not support our aspiration, just because we don’t like to have the difficult conversation. The examples I gave are extreme situations, discussion of which can no longer be avoided. This may be due to deliberate avoidance of the subject before it became an emergency. Some difficult conversations are better if you have them at the right time when you still have alternatives, to save you from difficult outcomes. Relocating abroad is one of them, popularly referred to as ‘japa’.

This is true life story. It should be about five years ago. I remember it was somewhere around Iju Ishaga in Lagos. I was alone in the car, enjoying the sweet melodies from Commander Ebenezer Obey’s collections. Imagine one of those weekend jigs when all you want to do is unwind. I just pulled out of a temporary parking on the roadside and about to do a U turn at a small opening on a dualised road. I had checked my side mirror and everything looked safe. The other side of the road was free and my mind was already at my destination. All these happened in a flash. My foot was on the accelerator, ready to move. The collision would have been heavy. It might even have been fatal because the car coming behind me was on top speed. A second look beyond my shoulder saved me what could have been a calamity. I escaped what would have been a terrible accident that never was. Looking back, all I can say is to God be the glory.