Communication is more art than science because it is more subjective than objective. The diversity in human nature reinforces the admonition that you should be quick to hear but slow to speak. In other words, listen more and speak less, particularly when you forge a new relationship, the intricacies of which you are yet to master.
I had an experience some years back. I needed help on something which was within the influence of a particular person I just met. A few minutes into our meeting, I got to know a bit of his background and this gave me some comfort. The excitement of my little knowledge of him misled me to speak more than was required.
I mentioned someone I know whom I’m sure would be well known to him, thinking it would attract me more to him to achieve my mission faster. He managed to disguise it but I noticed a change in his countenance, albeit mildly. What followed after the meeting was a long silence that was not explained until later.
My curiosity after a long silence revealed to me that he fell out with the person I mentioned just about the time of our meeting and he was still hurting. He needed to preserve his inner peace and offering the help I needed would mean immediate access to the person he was avoiding. I didn’t blame him because he’s human.
If you do not master the art of communication, you may be asking amiss and you would wonder why you are not getting results. If I had listened a little longer before speaking, perhaps I could have known that the information I had was not meant for that moment. I bungled the opportunity but I learnt a lesson.
Silence is such a powerful tool in communication. It allows you to hear yourself before you speak but many of us are eager to tell others what they don’t know about us than listen to what we are yet to know about them. This can work for you but it can also work against you.
If you are meeting someone for the first time, it is not a good time to make your requests except under an emergency situation. Remember that he hardly knows you. An average human being wants a relationship first before coming to terms with what the relationship requires from him.
Unsolicited information can hurt you more than you imagine, particularly if you are unsure of your audience. Sometimes, it pays better to respond to questions as against availing unsolicited information that could cause you to speak to the wrong audience.
Linguistics teachers teach us what to say and how to say it. Only real life situations teach us what not to say given different scenarios we may find ourselves. Silence is also a type of communication, use it when you are in doubt.
A good start inspires a great finish. Thank God it’s Monday.
©️ Akin Oluwadare Jnr
13 October 2025
