You only miss what you value and you don’t get to know the value of what you have until you lose it or, at the minimum, when it is not within your immediate reach. It’s been a while I put my pen on paper. If I’m not writing, something in me is missing. I missed my pen and I missed my readers. Hello reader.
A lot has changed but the world is moving. Many things that used to matter don’t seem to matter anymore but the clock keeps ticking. However fast the world moves, what is proper has not changed, it is the standard that is, sometimes, lowered for convenience and societal acceptance.
Etiquette is a word seldomly used. The spelling is uncommon just as its pronunciation. The usage is reserved for admonition to remind anyone on the need for proper conduct, particularly as it affects others. This is bearing in mind that what is normal to you may be a misnomer to your next door neighbour.
You may not readily find etiquette in school curriculum but it used to be an integral part of informal teaching to guide public behaviour. What has happened is that the modern day civilisation has chosen convenience over propriety and the rot is deepening.
Taking your telephone call in a public place is your right but speaking loudly to the discomfort of others around you is bad etiquette. It is worse when you put your phone on speaker and invite everyone to your conversation without their consent. Always remember that etiquette is a moral compass that guides acceptable behaviour, particularly in public.
What you wear is your decision and what makes you comfortable is not for others to decide but how you appear in public when you step out of the comfort of your house does not depend on your feelings alone. You owe others their right of the free use of their sight without provoking their feelings.
Your social or economic status counts for less if you find it difficult to subject yourself to simple rules that guide orderly behaviour in public. Jumping the queue is bad etiquette. “Do you know who I am” is not a thing of pride. Status needs no self-amplification, it announces itself. Flaunting your status in public is bad manner.
When it’s within your reach to offer help, recognise the place of grace and be modest. Don’t use what you got by grace to disgrace anyone. Addressing anyone in a condescending manner because what they need is within your power and influence is bad etiquette.
Knowing what to say and when to say it is as important as knowing what not to say at a given time. Silence is a powerful tool in communication. Talking too much may be mistaken for knowing so much but giving too much information, particularly when it is unsolicited, is anti-social and can cost you good relationships.
If you tell me social misbehaviour is on the increase, I will ask how often you think your action or inaction affects the next fellow. Sometimes, thinking or acting like a child can heal the ills our society suffers. Children are taught the use of these five magic words – please, excuse me, sorry, thank you and pardon me. How often do you use these words?
Welcome, September. Thank God it’s Monday and thank you for reading me. I am glad to be back online.
©️Akin Oluwadare Jnr.
01 September 2025
